Greetings! This is our first blog post. The Lord dropped it in my spirit this morning that we needed to have a blog on the website here that covers a variety of topics as well as relationship articles to round out the Monday Morning series. In our initial blog post we definitely wanted to touch on something that is URGENT and would probably get a lot of feedback from visitors. Singlehood always manages to do that–get feedback. If you know someone who needs this message, feel free to forward it, share the link or invite them to Click to Subscribe via Email to the Love Better Camp website.

How many of us know single friends who are completely and totally sold out to the Lord, but yet, they are TIRED OF WAITING for that spouse that has been promised to them? Although Philippians 4:6 states clearly that we should be anxious for nothing, it’s kind of hard to pat single women and men on the heads and say, “Just wait on God, He’s coming.” Often we probably wish we knew just what to tell them to soothe that ache to be united with a likeminded believer that will celebrate them as they move through what 1 Corinthians 13 confirms that love is. We probably rattle off a few scriptures and hope that helps. Most of the time it doesn’t.

If we’re honest, we probably know some people who get downright angry about being single too, demanding to know when it will be “their” turn and how come it’s taking so long. They wonder if God is there, if He’s heard their hours of prayers or in some extreme cases some start to wonder if He’s real at all. I was single once, and I’m here to tell you or anyone who finds themselves in this season–waiting on God doesn’t mean doing nothing. I’m not saying that flippantly, however, sometimes single people get so focused on being single that it takes over everything. It saturates every spare moment they have and instead of launching out into the deep that God may have them do in this season in their lives, their daily mantra is stuck on, “I’m single, I’m single, I’m single, I’m single.”

The first thing that I had to learn to do when I was single was to make up my mind to be content in my life. If God never sent me a man, I had to determine in my mind that I would still love Him and serve Him with a smile. Me serving God and doing what He called me to do had absolutely nothing with Him delivering me a spouse. I wasn’t issuing God an ultimatum. I had to learn to make up my mind about that early on and become faithful over the things He put my hands and once I did, I could instantly feel a shift into (maybe not overjoyed) but happier.

The next thing I had to do on a DAILY basis was stop reliving the fact that I was single in my mind over and over and over and over again. You mind is where the enemy will first seek to attack you. That’s what he did with me. He made sure every time I saw a couple walking down the street holding hands that he whispered, “But you’re still single,” in my ear. I had to learn to focus on what the word says, not what the enemy wanted me to focus on, because his job is to get us off track. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” That’s exactly what I did. Not just for a month, but it had to become a good practice that I replaced the bad habit with.

The most difficult thing I had to do when I was single is the thing that most people shy away from, skip or think they can avoid by running or pretending they’re already perfect. I had to prepare myself to be someone’s wife by making ME better. I like to say that God is not going to bless His best with a mess. So, I couldn’t just have a list of things that I wanted the man God was sending to be, I had to be a list of positive things too so that it increased the chances that our marriage would last. I had to dig deep and uncover some of those traits and behaviors that needed to go, because if I didn’t, the me I still was at that time would’ve sent any man who approached me, running for his life.

Finally I had to trust that my Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and that He knows exactly what I need. He knows the height, the common interests, the personality and every little thing in between. Sometimes we think we have to tell God every detail when we are His already and He knows what goes into us. I believed with my whole heart that God wanted me to have His best because I am His princess. I had to remind myself of this more than just a couple of times because anxiousness does arise and try to lead you think that the God who created the Heavens and earth needs our little bitty help, when we know that He’s quite capable on His own. I prayed about my anxiousness often because I didn’t want a man landing on my doorstep still riddled with issues that God was trying to take care of in him, but couldn’t because “I” was in a rush. A man who was the equivalent of an undone cake is not what I was after, but rather God’s best. And that’s exactly what I got when I married my husband who now assists me with the ministry. He is more than I could have ever asked for and I’m thankful to God that He showed me how to wait and birthed in me the book The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate.

Wait on God men and women of the faith, and believe that He wants nothing more than to give you a powerful testimony that will glorify Him forevermore.

If you know someone who needs this message, feel free to forward it, share the link or invite them to Click to Subscribe via Email to the Love Better Camp website.

by Linda Dominique Grosvenor

Your love affair started of perfect. It was just like the movies. He called you, you dined at quaint little out of the way restaurants, you traveled together and built memories that you thought would last forever–now you’re single again. You may be sabotaging your own relationships and not even know it. This New Year it’s time to get off the relationship hamster wheel. Here are the top 5 reasons that relationships don’t work.

You wake up and realize you don’t have anything in common. Love while it can be energetic and romantic in the very beginning, it still has to be fed with commonalities for it to grow and thrive. You need to have more than just a thing or two in common to forge ahead and make a relationship last. Many people discard the need to have things in common and then they soon realize that after they’re together for ten years that they don’t even like the same kinds of foods or television shows. This can disrupt lives. Small things foster togetherness. Learn where your partner would like to one day travel, what their idea of relaxation truly is as well as what kind of books you both like to read. Your common trends are the framework of your relationship.

Individuals in relationships latch on to whoever they’re with and become co-dependent instead of discovering their own worth and embracing their singlehood before finding a partner. A partner should enhance who you are as a person not replace who you are as a person. Many people distort this principle. All couples should have a bevy of things that they like to do together, or places they enjoy going, but they should have individual interests as well, so, they don’t smother each other and extinguish the fire.

Sometimes people in a relationship have unresolved issues. These unresolved issues are normally with someone from their past, an ex-wife or ex-boyfriend and a partner can idealize the ex or harbor anger or resentment towards them and hold the new mate to an unfair standard—a standard that they can never meet or displace that unresolved anger onto them. The wise thing to do is to fully resolve your past before you move forward in the future and seek out a new relationship. This gives your new relationship you’re in a fighting chance.

You are disrespecting someone else’s relationship. Many people in relationships may knowingly or unknowingly display improper behavior for someone who is in a relationship or allow people they know are in a relationship to relate inappropriately to them. Whether it’s bankrolling your opposite sex co-worker’s coffee and muffin every morning from the husband and wife joint bank account or using terms of endearment even playfully with someone you’re “not” in a relationship with, the rule is, if you want to keep your relationship intact, draw boundaries and don’t allow anybody to cross the line no matter how friendly you’ve become with them. If you introduce behavior like that in someone else’s relationship, then you are opening the door to it in your own relationship. Many relationships have fallen apart over much less.

Jealousy and Insecurity ruins hundreds of thousands of relationship every year. This is where getting in touch with yourself before you couple up and get into a relationship should be mandatory. You should be whole and appreciative of yourself and know your self-worth before you come into a relationship. It shouldn’t fall on your partner to boost your self-esteem and stroke your ego. It’s unfair and can become a nuisance. But on the flipside, if the jealousy and insecurity is warranted because his or her co-worker or friend is disrespecting your relationship, you have a right to feel what you feel and their job is to handle it so you no longer feel that way. Get a grip on jealousy, but learn to also put friends in their place even if it hurts their feelings, and that will let your love thrive, flourish, grow.

Linda Dominique Grosvenor has made her foray into non-fiction with the runaway bestseller The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate which is now available in paperback. Her expertise on dating and relationship issues has been used in articles for publications such as Modern Bride, Jolie, Jewel, Honey and MORE Magazine.

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If ThePluralThing.com or the book The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate has been a help to you then you need to read the following information. And if you’ve never heard of the site, signed up (FREE) or browsed the wealth of relationship information via articles, videos and personal experiences–SIGN UP TODAY!

In July, (our network hosts) will roll-out three new pricing plans and begin phasing out our free service. We chose the Ning Platform to build our community because it’s the easiest to use, has the most reliable performance and easily scales to hundreds of thousands of members. Their shift to a paid service model will enable them to focus to a greater degree on enhancing the features, performance and services they offer to their paying Network Creators (Us). They say that we’ll immediately see greater control over our network branding, design and member experience.

If you were a member from the very beginning you may remember when the Google Ads advertising mail order brides and other worldly-based relationship concepts were very distracting and counterproductive to what we’re trying to accomplish. We’ve already been paying $19.95 monthly to keep the Google Ads away from our members so that they can have a more enjoyable Christian learning experience. However, with the new increase and all of the changes it brings it will cost us $499.99 annually to keep our site online and functioning the way that it is today.

We can’t do it alone. We need your support. Please let the Lord touch your heart and instruct you how much to give. We know that God has called us to assist with all  aspects of relationships. We trust that He WILL NOT allow all we’ve poured into it to fall by the wayside. Continue to keep us and the ministry in prayer. For your convenience you can make your tax-deductible donation via Master, Visa or Discover card.

Update: We thank those of you who have already rallied around us in support. Please if you have difficulty accessing the link to donate use the contact link to reach us and we’ll create an invoice. Thank you!

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I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who came out and supported The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate in its paperback release. Click Here for some photos of the festivities.

Order The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate wherever books are sold.

by Harriet Hairston
http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary has several definitions for the word “crown:”

1. A reward of victory or mark of honor;
2. A royal or imperial headdress or cap of sovereignty;
3. A wreath, band, or circular ornament for the head, and my favorite:
4. Something that imparts splendor, honor, or finish.

So my question for the ladies is which of the above definitions apply to you? Truthfully, #3 applies to us all.  As wives or future wives, we were created to be crowns to our husbands.  We are going to be a crown whether we like it or not.

The key, though, is what kind of crown ARE you?  A wise person once sat me down during a particularly turbulent time I was having with my husband.  He told me something that stuck with me, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.  He said, “As a wife, you’re going to be a crown to your husband.  Whether a crown of glory or a crown of thorns is strictly up to you.”

A crown of glory:

• Understands that she was taken from a man’s side to protect his most vital organ…his heart.  As such, she ensures her speech and demeanor with him does not take advantage of that area of vulnerability.
• Realizes that her responsibility is to INFLUENCE the vision for her family and steer it in the direction God assigned for it.

A crown of thorns, on the other hand:

• Capitalizes on her husband’s vulnerabilities and belittles him every time she gets a chance to.
• Would prefer to have double vision (division) as opposed to influence.  Would rather LEAD than influence the vision for her family, thus steering it apart instead of together.

Do you impart splendor, honor or proof of finish to your husband’s life?  Or do you belittle, embarrass, crucify and damn your husband every time you get a chance?  Remember always that a worthy wife is the crown of glory.  Choose today which you will be for the rest of your life.

God bless!

“A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones,” Proverbs 12:4 (New Living Translation)

by Harriet Hairston
http://harriet-canshesaythat.blogspot.com

“How big is your imagination?  How much do you dream?  Have you ever had a vision that seemed so far to reach?”

These words reached out and grabbed me over seven years ago as I was listening to Yolanda Adams’ latest album in my car on my way to work.  I can answer them for myself now, but for a time in my marriage, I couldn’t tell you the answers my husband would have to these questions.  He is a visionary, but in many ways, I didn’t know how to tap in to the melody of his heart to encourage him to pursue those visions.  My attitude was very “business as usual,” and although it didn’t have a detrimental effect on our marriage, a change in that area could have revolutionized it long ago.

“Well, I ain’t trying to preach to you, but I’m really concerned about the road you choose.  Where are you going? What are you doing? What are you choosing?”

Are you concerned about the road your spouse chooses beyond just paying bills and taking care of business?  So many people these days are content to die at age 25, and then wait to get buried at age 90.  What about your spouse’s wildest dreams?  How can you aid in making them a reality?  Beyond what goes on in the bedroom, what is your spouse passionate about?  How can you create a symphony that will move your spouse to dance towards his or her destiny?

“Let the melody you hear whisper softly in your ear, telling you that you can do anything if you believe.”

What kind of composition have you created to help get your spouse to his or her purpose?  Here are some questions I asked my husband to ascertain what his dreams were:

• Baby, what are you passionate about?
• What kinds of dreams did you have about you future when you were a child?
• Did you give up on those dreams?  If so, why?
• Did you fulfill your dreams?  If not, how can I help?
• Have there been times when you have wanted to set your dreams in motion, but my attitude stifled your desire?  Please forgive me if that’s ever been the case.

“We should be willing to become the biggest fan of our spouses.  We have the unique opportunity to join them in dance in the unique melody of encouragement that cannot be composed by anyone other than us.”Look, God is all-powerful.  Who is a teacher like Him? No one can tell Him what to do, or say to Him, ‘You have done wrong.’ Instead, glorify His mighty works, singing songs of praise,”  Job 36:22-24 (New Living Translation)

by Wanza Leftwich
http://www.thegospelwriter.blogspot.com

I’ve never been so disappointed in my life. I thought once I married all would be well. But that didn’t last long. Just about two days to be exact. We had our first argument waiting for the plane to go on our honeymoon. Marital bliss? What is that? Does it even exist?

By the time we hit the five year mark, we were well into the woes of marriage: rent, bills, childcare and a sex life that was not something to talk about at the high school reunion. It was a marriage, but what kind of marriage was it I kept asking myself. Was it supposed to like that? Was I supposed to cry myself to sleep at night?

Could this be all that God intended for the marriage I thought was mine? Didn’t God tell me to marry this man? Who was he anyway?

He’s certainly not the man I thought I married. The man I dated brought flowers, perfume and cards for every occasion or non occasion. It didn’t matter the day, he always gave me kisses and hugs. Or was that my imagination? Did I miss something? Was I kissing myself? Did I ask him to bring the perfume and flowers because it was Valentine’s Day? Did I date myself for two years and not know it?

He firmly declares that I proposed to him? I don’t remember it that way. I remember bringing up the topic of marriage, but I didn’t get on my knees with the ring and say, “Will you marry me?”

Did I force him?

Did I?

So what does a girl do when she believes her marriage is failing and her resources have run out? How do I escape this Monday kind of love and get to the weekend where love flows free?

I decide to pray and read God’s Word, The Bible, for instructions.

Then I moved by faith. I couldn’t continue to walk around in a fog and let my marriage die. I was miserable. He was miserable. Things had to change. What I didn’t realize it that things needed to change on the inside of me.

I had a list of problems I felt my husband added to the relationship. Then, the more I prayed the more I read the Bible, I realized that I was the problem. I needed to improve who I was – I needed to love myself unconditionally before I could love him.

The problems I saw in him were actually the things I hated about myself. I called him selfish, yet I was the one that always wanted things my way. I called him faithless, but I was the one who didn’t believe what we had would survive. I called him non-sensitive but I was the one that didn’t value who he was, what he did or who God was making him to be.

I was stuck on Monday in our marriage.

Then it hit me. So he doesn’t bring home the flowers any more? Maybe I should go out and buy him a DVD of one of his favorite movies? There is something that I can do to make this relationship work. Whether I coerced myself into this marriage or not, I am here and I’m not leaving.

I was ready to work. I needed to see Tuesday in my marriage and get through the week. My husband became my priority and 24 hour commitment to love him better by faith. I couldn’t change the past but I promised myself that the future would not be the same.

We’re headed toward seven years of marriage this June. No longer do I settle for a Monday’s kind of love…we’re steadily headed toward Saturday!

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love,” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (The Message)

Have you ever wanted to help save a marriage or keep a family together? Perhaps you’ve wished that you could stop the agony a child feels when they have to choose whether or not they’ll spend Thanksgiving with Mom or Dad’s family when all they really want is for them to stay together?

Did you know that learning how to communicate with each other effectively and utilizing positive communication skills can nudge some couples who were “thinking” divorce to remove the “D word” from the equation altogether and set them on the path to repair their family? Singles haven’t managed to avoid “broken relationship syndrome” either. That is why wise men and women have begun utilizing the tools in our retreats and the information on our websites to have better and more fulfilling relationships.

That’s what the Love Better Camp, Inc. is all about and YOU CAN HELP US KEEP HELPING OTHERS!

Donate a product or service that we will make available through our ONLINE AUCTION.

Your donation will assist us with saving the nation one marriage, family, single man, woman or child at a time.

NEED SUGGESTIONS? We’d love to auction off Prom Dresses, Vintage Jewelry, Marriage Counseling Sessions, Photo Shoots, Gift Cards, Hand Bags, Dinner for 2, Website Designs, Book Cover Designs and more. We are also putting together beauty boxes. If you are a manufacturer of beauty products send them and we’ll stuff the boxes until they’re full and then auction them off!

We’ve already gotten generous donations from: Alexia Admor, Creative Ankh, Fave Media, 1721 Media and we know that more are on the way! However, we can’t do it without YOU.

The Auction will begin August 1, 2010 and end October 1, 2010

The mission of the Love Better Camp, Inc. is to serve the community by providing self-esteem building outings, activities, seminars, conferences and interactive retreats for singles, couples and their families to strengthen not only the marital unit, but the individual self-worth and the family bond. Our viable online communities have collectively empowered over 400 individuals daily by equipping them with the tools that enable them to become better communicators, choose safer relationships, revive fledgling relationships and lessen the chances of divorce by increasing the ratio of happy marriages and keeping families together. The goal whether single, married or divorced is for the Love Better Camp, Inc. to assist individuals with halting self-sabotaging behavior before it starts and teach them ways to choose and form more wholesome relationships.

Love Better Camp, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Our tax ID number is 26-4085897. Your gift is tax deductible to the full extent provided by law.

In closing, I want to thank you in advance for your support. Please email us if you have any questions or comments about the Love Better Camp.

Sincerely,

The Love Better Camp Team

by Rachel Renee Griggs
http://www.RachelReneeGriggs.com

My friend’s cellphone was stolen recently. The thief was not satisfied with gaining a new phone, he also took it upon himself to send me an email with an outrageous proposition. The good thing is that even though I was unaware that my friend’s phone had been stolen, I knew immediately that the email was not intended for me. I doubted that my friend was even the author of the message,which had been sent from his corporate email account.

The whole thing was so strange that I tried to get in contact with my friend to warn him because I believed his email account had been hacked. When he later called me and told me he lost his phone, I told him what happened which confirmed his suspicion that the phone was stolen. Thankfully, he had turned off his wireless account as soon as he realized it was missing.

This whole incident is such a violation and reminds me of what we are up against every day. The enemy of our souls is constantly trying to steal something from us, constantly trying to get his foot in the door of our lives, constantly trying to impersonate a friend or a voice to be trusted.

We must guard our hearts and be watchful. We must tune our ears to the voice of God so that we are not tempted by the propositions of the enemy. When we know God’s character we cannot be fooled by anyone who does not come by the Spirit of the Lord. The thief can come to steal, kill and destroy, however he will not get very far with his plan when we keep our spiritual eyes and ears open.

Lord I pray that I might increasingly know You more intimately so that I might never be fooled by the voice of another. I pray that Your Word is deeply rooted in me so that imposters are immediately exposed by the light of Your Truth.

^“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one,” John 10:27-30 (NIV)