Have you ever wanted to help save a marriage or keep a family together? Perhaps you’ve wished that you could stop the agony a child feels when they have to choose whether or not they’ll spend Thanksgiving with Mom or Dad’s family when all they really want is for them to stay together?

Did you know that learning how to communicate with each other effectively and utilizing positive communication skills can nudge some couples who were “thinking” divorce to remove the “D word” from the equation altogether and set them on the path to repair their family? Singles haven’t managed to avoid “broken relationship syndrome” either. That is why wise men and women have begun utilizing the tools in our retreats and the information on our websites to have better and more fulfilling relationships.

That’s what the Love Better Camp, Inc. is all about and YOU CAN HELP US KEEP HELPING OTHERS!

Donate a product or service that we will make available through our ONLINE AUCTION.

Your donation will assist us with saving the nation one marriage, family, single man, woman or child at a time.

NEED SUGGESTIONS? We’d love to auction off Prom Dresses, Vintage Jewelry, Marriage Counseling Sessions, Photo Shoots, Gift Cards, Hand Bags, Dinner for 2, Website Designs, Book Cover Designs and more. We are also putting together beauty boxes. If you are a manufacturer of beauty products send them and we’ll stuff the boxes until they’re full and then auction them off!

We’ve already gotten generous donations from: Alexia Admor, Creative Ankh, Fave Media, 1721 Media and we know that more are on the way! However, we can’t do it without YOU.

The Auction will begin March 1, 2010 and end October 1, 2010

The mission of the Love Better Camp, Inc. is to serve the community by providing self-esteem building outings, activities, seminars, conferences and interactive retreats for singles, couples and their families to strengthen not only the marital unit, but the individual self-worth and the family bond. Our viable online communities have collectively empowered over 400 individuals daily by equipping them with the tools that enable them to become better communicators, choose safer relationships, revive fledgling relationships and lessen the chances of divorce by increasing the ratio of happy marriages and keeping families together. The goal whether single, married or divorced is for the Love Better Camp, Inc. to assist individuals with halting self-sabotaging behavior before it starts and teach them ways to choose and form more wholesome relationships.

Love Better Camp, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. Our tax ID number is 26-4085897. Your gift is tax deductible to the full extent provided by law.

In closing, I want to thank you in advance for your support. Please email us if you have any questions or comments about the Love Better Camp.

Sincerely,

The Love Better Camp Team

by Rachel Renee Griggs
http://www.RachelReneeGriggs.com

My friend’s cellphone was stolen recently. The thief was not satisfied with gaining a new phone, he also took it upon himself to send me an email with an outrageous proposition. The good thing is that even though I was unaware that my friend’s phone had been stolen, I knew immediately that the email was not intended for me. I doubted that my friend was even the author of the message,which had been sent from his corporate email account.

The whole thing was so strange that I tried to get in contact with my friend to warn him because I believed his email account had been hacked. When he later called me and told me he lost his phone, I told him what happened which confirmed his suspicion that the phone was stolen. Thankfully, he had turned off his wireless account as soon as he realized it was missing.

This whole incident is such a violation and reminds me of what we are up against every day. The enemy of our souls is constantly trying to steal something from us, constantly trying to get his foot in the door of our lives, constantly trying to impersonate a friend or a voice to be trusted.

We must guard our hearts and be watchful. We must tune our ears to the voice of God so that we are not tempted by the propositions of the enemy. When we know God’s character we cannot be fooled by anyone who does not come by the Spirit of the Lord. The thief can come to steal, kill and destroy, however he will not get very far with his plan when we keep our spiritual eyes and ears open.

Lord I pray that I might increasingly know You more intimately so that I might never be fooled by the voice of another. I pray that Your Word is deeply rooted in me so that imposters are immediately exposed by the light of Your Truth.

^“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one,” John 10:27-30 (NIV)

by Michelle Cameron
http://blogs.myspace.com/shellylove2002

As I prepare for the next phase of my life, I realize that many wounds still exist from previous personal experiences. The past has an uncanny knack of showing up at the most inopportune moments – like when you are trying to focus on something very important (like work, for example), or while praying (that’s important too), or even when you’re trying to relax. Old memories that seem like they occurred only yesterday impose their presence with little warning.

Then the feelings flood; what you thought was a done deal resurrects itself in your bosom. Why did I think that comment no longer bothered me? When will I stop feeling this way? I don’t want to cry now – why are my eyes stinging and burning NOW?

I usually surrender to the feelings/memories, but only briefly. I remind myself (sometimes out loud) that it is time to move on, and that God has already fixed it. I will murmur to myself – “When are you gonna get past that?” I may even whisper a prayer on behalf of the person (or on my behalf) and invoke God’s wisdom, healing and deliverance. I will also ask Him if there is something else I need to do or say to liberate my spirit.

Getting past the hurt, disappointments, injustices and pain may take a very long time. Forgiveness is definitely a progressive work. I may be able to forgive A (i.e. a person or a situation) today, but it may take another 3 months for me to forgive B. As much as our very spiritual friends may try to tell us otherwise, God is walking with us through this journey from bondage to true liberty. He will not abandon us as we face our daily giants and, like David of old, pick up our smooth stones and swing our slings to kill them and gain new freedom.

As we rid ourselves of these obstacles, our healing begins to take place. We can genuinely face some of these individuals, smile at them and hold a decent conversation without it becoming a tongue-lashing session or breaking out into a fist fight. We can chat with them freely without dreaming of slashed throats or imagining ourselves behind bars. REAL TALK!

Sometimes we are given the impression that forgiveness and healing means we can resume life “as usual” before the breach in our friendship/relationship with that individual. Nothing could be further from the truth. If that person has not sought help or it is not safe to resume “business as usual” then you can love them from a distance. What matters is within our hearts there is no place for hate, arrogance or vengeance on the matter. We have voluntarily placed our hearts in the blessed hands of God and we are allowing Him to mend the broken pieces back together. Rage begins to melt away, and we may even realize we had a part to play in the mess – or we are 100% innocent and cannot take on any guilt or blame legitimately.

Healing must come before we can be completely free. Deliverance can be had in stages or all at once, but it never happens without our conscious efforts and deliberate actions. To say to that person “I forgive you” or ask “Will you please forgive me?” is part of your deliverance. To let him or her know you were hurt but you chose to forgive and move on is an act of freedom. No longer can that situation or that person hold you hostage. They cannot “rent space” in your heart or mind anymore – after all, you should be in control of your thoughts and feelings, correct?

Are you ready for complete deliverance? Are you looking with longing at what lies over on the other side of your current situation? Take my hand, friend; let us walk together through this difficult, thorny path to healing and freedom, one step and one situation at a time. It will be well worth it in the end.

Let’s GO!!!

“O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me,” Psalm 30:2 (NIV)

by Lakisha Latham
http://wordsoflifeandwisdom.blogspot.com

Why is it so hard to love ourselves? Is it because society has painted a image of the perfect woman/man or is it because we hate ourselves because of things we have done it the past that we felt sealed our fate for the future?

There could be many reasons for the way you feel. For me personally it was the world. I would see magazines upon magazines of skinny women with piles of make up, wearing the latest fashions telling me “this is how you are suppose to look.” Well coming from a single parent household didn’t leave much for me to work with, but my mother did her best by us and for that I’m grateful. I didn’t like myself after the age of 14. Back then my mom had control of my diet and I had an “awesome” figure and though even then I had “guy” issues I thought it would get better as time went by. To my sadness and utter humiliation things got worse.

I got a job and decided to take over my own health buying whatever junk food I wanted. I didn’t know it, but back then I was using food to cover up a deeper problem–I didn’t like myself. As time went by I got fatter and before I knew it I was a chunky female! Now I still saw these women in magazines, but I just figured that I would be liked for who I was. High School was the worst. If the kids didn’t like you, that was it, no questions asked. I began to hate myself more and more each day drowning my problems in food and books. I often hid in the library or skipped class to get away from everyone. The last straw was when my “then” boyfriend took another girl to prom because he thought she was prettier! That blew my world. I knew at that point I was nothing. At this time I didn’t have God in my life, so, I was looking to people and things to fill the loneliness and rejection I “FELT”

I put that in quotations because at the time I didn’t know the devil was planting lies in my head!

After the humiliation of high school I dropped out at 17 years old. I figured I could make it working at White Castle. I started running through man after man, calling date lines and even messing around with coworkers. I figured that I could get a man that way or that I could feel loved and be a Princess. See after all, I was still innocent in so many ways. I believed in Prince Charming and all that fairy tale mess. I even started living in that world to escape my present situation. The men came and went and I became less and less of the bright girl I once was. The devil had me fully believing that I wasn’t worth anything and that I was going to die a lonely person. So I ate more and more and at this point I’m beyond depressed and I’m aching to be loved.

I turned to dark music to get by. To me it expressed what I was feeling but, I didn’t know how to get it out. Soon after I began to be tormented at night. Nightmares of hell and Satan himself filled my nights. I started drinking and smoking weed not only to fit in but to escape my life. None of it worked I was still an outcast. Women were my final straw. I figured if I became a lesbian I would be loved and fit in with the crowd, but it just made everything worse. It took my hair dresser to get me to church and when I finally accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior the chains fell off and the years of abuse and pain came out in uncontrollable tears! I was free, or so I thought.

Since 2001 it has been a struggle. I came in and out of God trying to fight my own demons not submitting to God. See, I thought I was so hideous that not even He could love me! Then I read Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Know that whatever the devil has allowed you to believe is false ask the Lord to show you His divine path for you life! Psalm 71:6 By You I have been upheld from birth; You are He who took me out of my mother’s womb. My praise shall be continually of You. He knew what you would go through but he also knew you would find your way to Him! Trust your FATHER cry out to Him release those years of frustration and pain and watch Him heal deliver and set you free! He has for me in so many ways!

In conclusion Jesus is my boyfriend and He will be until God sends me the right one! I still battle my weight and even now He is still healing me but, I’m with women and men of God who love me. I’m even going deeper into worship and my love for Him. He is awesome! Find a awesome local church where u can get the support you need it’s never too late to turn to God, Amen.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well,” Psalm 139:14 (KJV)

NOW COMING IN PAPERBACK!

Get a Copy of The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate
Because Marriage is a Covenant, Not Just About Him Putting a Ring On It!

The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate is unadulterated, hard-hitting, tough-loving, no-nonsense truth. With Biblical principles, keen insight, self-disclosure and candidness Grosvenor provides guidance to those struggling with sexual soul ties, an adulterous relationship, low self-esteem and have resigned themselves to settling for second-best or are just in love with being in love and finally want the freedom to receive God’s blessings for their lives. The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate set advanced readers on FIRE and has eagerly been made recommended reading by church groups and singles ministries across the United States. This inspirational book for singles will foster energetic discussion and is appropriate for Christians of all ages.

WHAT YOU GET:

A Copy of The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate

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The Love Better Oath Card to recite your pledge as often as you need the reminder.

A Personalized Message and Autograph inscribed directly into your book.

Read an Excerpt of The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate here.

RULES:

1. Order a Copy of The Plural Thing: Spiritually Preparing for Your Soul Mate in Paperback via this link http://tinyurl.com/yjhqabs.

2. Sign up for the Linda Dominique Grosvenor/Love Better Camp Newsletter at http://tinyurl.com/yeecj9b.

3. Every VALID entry will be listed here in the comments section using the first name and last initial.

4. On March 1, 2010 a WINNER will be chosen at random using Random.org and notified via the email provided.

Note: Each book purchased via the link above enters you into the drawing one time. Example purchase 3 books and you are entered 3 times into the drawing. Buy a copy for yourself and for a couple of friends! A winner will be chosen at random from all entries received. You MUST be subscribed to the mailing list with the “same” email address used to purchase your books to be entered to win. Winner has 48 hours to claim prize. Hardcover purchases do not qualify for gift card drawing. Void where prohibited by law.

[READ AN EXCERPT HERE]

by Linda Dominique Grosvenor
http://www.LindaDominiqueGrosvenor.com

My husband and I are moving towards one day building our dream home. We’d like to have an ample amount of acreage to preserve our privacy. We both grew up with neighbors in the apartment on top of us and next door to us and seek the solace of it just being us two as we enjoy our lives together. Of course aside from the actual housing structure we desire open space. It is for this reason that some people opt to fence in their property, but I have always been more fond of hedges. They are a variation of tree, foliage, plant, but protection nonetheless. What I’ve found, however, is that even though you put up hedges around your house, just like in life and in relationships, it doesn’t keep everybody out. Some people will see your hedges and respect them, some will part them and try to get a closer look, some will walk right around them and pretend that they’re not even there and then there are some who will conveniently believe that the hedges (boundaries) don’t apply to them. In this instance I’m talking about the married man, single woman dilemma. Let’s take a moment to realize that everything we do in male/female friendships may not please everybody involved or God either for that matter. Therefore we have to learn to be more open to feedback and govern ourselves in a way that doesn’t hinder our own love lives. Here are some things to consider when you find yourself “close” friends with a married man:

First and foremost, make sure his wife doesn’t have a problem with your friendship. Don’t just take his word for it–he may want the friendship and enjoy talking to you as much as you do him and doesn’t want to risk losing the friendship by telling you the truth. Whenever you are friends with a married man, however, you need to understand it is a package deal. You should be able to engage the man as well as his wife and you should “want” to do it. If you are only engaging the husband and totally excluding his wife, your dealings and communication with him are in complete error. This means you need to be “actively” fostering a growing relationship with the wife as well as maintaining what you have with her husband and if you’re not doing this, seek God and evaluate why. Remember we’re not talking acquaintances here, we’re talking about friendships and there’s an all or none rule when it comes to friendships with married people. Your relationship needs to be with BOTH of them or none of them. Most importantly if you communicate with his wife and she expresses concerns about the friendship–if you are intent on living right and pleasing God–you need to pull back, because while you may view him separately–they are one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

Realize that his marriage covenant is a covenant that is held up before God and that his relationship with his wife trumps the five, ten or fifteen years you’ve been friends (Matthew 19:6). No matter what personal and private things he’s shared with you in the past, his wife’s feelings have to be respected above all else and as a single friend you have to take a moment to process the fact that the friendship with the now married man will be much different than it was when he was single and not obligated to a spouse. God has entrusted his wife to him and he can’t do anything to damage that relationship or make it shaky–not even engaging you. If you can’t deal with the change in the marital status and the new way in which you’ll have to engage the married man in friendship, then chances are (deep down whether you’ll admit it openly or not) the friendship was more than just a friendship to you. Maybe there is an emotional attachment that you feel towards the man or enjoy the attention that he offers through conversation and other interaction a little too much. If you sense that this is the case with you, first realize that his affection isn’t yours and that his job isn’t to make you feel better about yourself and secondly, realize that as a woman who is friends with a married man there may need to be a separation between you two that may even need to be permanent, because you could be getting too close to crossing the line, even if it’s only in your own mind.

Understand that it is HIGHLY inappropriate for a married man to nurture a single woman emotionally or allow a single woman to nurture him emotionally. When he takes a wife it is his responsibility to nurture his wife and his wife’s responsibility is to nurture him. It doesn’t mean that married people can’t talk to or listen to other people or encourage them, but a man cannot become “emotionally invested” in a woman who isn’t his significant other. Neither the husband or wife should be getting emotional needs met from outside of the marital covenant and personal and private issues should never be shared by the married man to outside parties either. Likewise the single woman has to make certain she isn’t drawing the married man into illicit conversations with talk about her sex life, breast surgery and other inappropriate things. A married man’s mind has no business going there with you and if you take him there God holds you personally accountable for the end result. As a single woman  you also cannot repeatedly tug on a married man’s time via telephone, emails or in person under the guise that you have nobody else to talk to either. A married man cannot be your best friend no matter how you slice it. A married man’s best friend is his wife and you must realize that God is not pleased with the disruption of any marriage by outside parties. Praying for spiritually-grounded single friends to come into your life would be most helpful to you so that this married man doesn’t become your lifeline. We also cannot believe that God will tie a single woman to a married man spiritually and leave the wife completely out. That never happens by God’s doing. If you feel as if you have some kind of connection to a married man, that is an ungodly soul tie that needs to be broken because it can be used as a door to have constant communication with this man under the guise of “spirituality” when in fact God wants to be the spiritual comfort for that single woman and He wants the husband to be the spiritual comfort for his wife without interference from any other woman, single or not (Proverbs 5:15-19).

Finally, many relationships start out as friendships, so it should come as no surprise that friendships that cross the line can end up as secret affairs if they aren’t kept in check. We like to blame the boundaries and guidelines put up to safeguard marriages an “insecurity” issue on the part of the wife (or husband), however, it’s more an issue of inappropriateness on the part of the friend who wants things to be like it was when the married man was single or in the event that they met when he was married–wishing he was single, so that they can behave in the void of rules. Do your friendships with the married man you know cross any of these lines? Ask yourself, is he always one of the last 5 people you call or email every single day or every single week? Are every one of those calls and emails to him God-led and necessary? Remember you don’t have to commit adultery for your actions and behavior to be adulterous in nature (Matthew 5:28). Adultery isn’t just sex, it’s anything that can take away or draw either spouse away from the covenant God united them in and your constant contact with the married man can keep you on his mind–even when you shouldn’t be–and some of you know that. But for the sake of your soul, don’t hinder the blessings that God has for you because you’re intent on being inappropriate with a married friend, co-worker, church member or family member. If someone ignored your hedges and came barging up to your front door how would you feel? Stand back and take a good look at yourself and how you interact with your married friends and make certain that you aren’t peeping over someone else’s hedges. Marriage is difficult enough without adding unnecessary fuel to the fire.

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered,” 1 Peter 3:7 (KJV).

by Cortnee Zirpel
http://unhub.com/cortnee4christ

I woke up this morning to my son bringing me his toddler Bible. He said he wanted to read me something. When he opened it up he said “Jesus died on the cross…and rose again.” And looked at me and smiled. It was the cutest, most precious thing I have ever seen.

Well, onto my thoughts this morning. Since I was so struck yesterday with Hebrews 4, I decided to continue there. I went on to read the last few verses in the chapter. This is what they said:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15,16.

So here it is. The final piece to yesterday’s story. Not only are we to find rest in the Lord, but before we do, we are told to bring our cares and concerns to Jesus. Not casually, or carelessly, but with confidence! We are to come bold to the throne! That means we let Jesus know exactly what is going on with us. It means we can cry, laugh, mourn, hurt, be frustrated, confused, exhausted with Him. We can let our hair down and relax our thoughts and emotions at the feet of our intercessor.

The most interesting and wonderful part of these verses, for me, was about receiving mercy and finding grace to help us in our time of need. Ok, let me break it down for you. First we can receive mercy. This is great, this means it’s something we can accept. It’s something that Jesus can give us just for coming to Him. Wow, if we don’t come to Him, we can’t receive anything! Next what we are receiving is mercy. Mercy is compassion. Don’t we all need compassion? I don’t know about you but this world is jaded, my family is jaded, and my friends are too! A bible commentary I read this morning states: “(literally, fellow feeling from community of suffering).” You know what that means right? It means that since we are approaching the throne, Jesus, He knows what we are going through because he has suffered as if in a community tragedy. Jesus understands what you are going through because HE HIMSELF went through it too! Wow.

So here we are, at the feet of Jesus, our intercessor, our High Priest, who not only KNOWS what we went through because He went through it too, but is able to intercede on our behalf with God the Father. Wow. It’s like having a lawyer defend you for a crime you didn’t commit, and the lawyer, personally having gone through the tragedy himself, defends you! Let that soak in a minute. I have someone on my side that knows PERSONALLY what I am going through. Don’t you think when they are talking to the judge they will be passionate about your case? Don’t you think that they will fight tooth and nail for you? Or nail and cross for you? So what we learn is: “Mercy especially refers to the remission and removal of sins.” So the lawyer, Jesus, goes in front of the judge, God the Father, and says: “Lord, Lord, this person is innocent! I declare this person clean and holy! Nothing can touch them!” Wow – Jesus is so cool!

Here’s where it gets better. The next thing we find at the Throne of Grace is grace itself. Again, in the Bible commentary it says: grace to the saving bestowal of spiritual gifts.” Ok – so picture it with me again, Jesus in court, in front of the Judge and says: “And not only that Lord, but I request that this person be given back everything you have given them. I request that their life be restored spiritually.” Amazing. So we get our sins taken away, washed clean BECAUSE of Christ, and then He says, that’s not enough, give them back their gifts, their spiritual fervor for you! So amazing!

Ok – we are almost done. And this is my FAVORITE part – the part that struck me right where I was all last week. Right in the middle of my pain and suffering…”to help us in our time of need.” Ok – so this is the part I like because it isn’t conditional. This part says WHENEVER you need it! Whenever your life sucks, whenever your hurt makes you want to hurt, whenever you feel hopeless, frustrated, angry, disappointed! The Bible commentary says about help in our time of need: “Before we are overwhelmed by the temptation; when we most need it, in temptations and persecutions; such as is suitable to the time, persons. A supply of grace is in store for believers against all exigencies; but they are only supplied with it according as the need arises…that is, to-day, while it is yet open to us. He is able to succor them that are tempted.”
Succor…

NOUN:

1. Assistance in time of distress; relief.
2. One that affords assistance or relief.

Selah…pause and think of that!

Wow – so again, back at the courtroom…Jesus continues: “And Lord, as it pleases You, I would like to add that this person be able to come to the court at ANY time. Any time they need assistance in a time of distress, anytime they need RELIEF! I request that they be able to come to the court, with me, and address their needs and concerns, and ask for assistance and relief! Wow!! If you don’t get it, I will be praying for you!

In case you need more, I will recap…We have an open throne, a way to get to that throne of grace where God can restore our faith, remove our sins, and relieve our distresses…TODAY, as the need arises, while it is open for us, because He used His Son to take on your sins and hurts and pain, so that He now knows what you are going through, and can have compassion on you! But guess what? It all depends on you! It all depends on whether you are willing to humble yourself, go to the feet of Jesus, ask and RECEIVE!

WOW! I hope this becomes a revelation in your life! I know it has in mine. I love that Jesus understands me and wants the BEST for me. I love that God is so creative that He knew exactly what we needed in our sinful flesh, and allows us to come to Him anytime, through Christ, because of His community suffering!!

I love you and I hope you have a fabulous weekend! Spend some time thanking Jesus for what He died for you! It will turn your mourning into Joy, and your disappointments into Thanksgiving!

Praise be to you Lord, my God, my Refuge and my Strength. Thank you for your awesomeness and power! Thank you for your Words that speak to our hearts.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee,” Hebrews 13:5 (KJV)

by Rachel Renee Griggs
http://www.RachelReneeGriggs.com

Some Things I Have Learned about Myself and Relationships

Ever since I was a child there were a couple of things I aspired to be as an adult. At the top of my list was to become a wife and mother. I always loved to read and before I was even a teenager I was reading articles about relationships, marriage and parenting. Even as I write this I am aware that it probably seems a bit strange for a “new millennium” woman’s highest aspiration to be a wife and mother but it’s true.

Out of my heart’s deepest desires came my willingness to give my all in relationships time and time again, hoping theh object of my affection would be the one who would complete my vision of marriage and family. Somehow, no matter how much I loved and gave of myself, it never worked. Last year, after what I swore would be my last breakup, I decided to stop practicing insanity and try it God’s way rather than Rachel’s way. God, through a friend, led me to The Plural Thing, a book and online ministry that changed my approach on relationships. I had so much to learn about doing it God’s way and I am still learning.

I recently began looking through my old blogs and found this posting entitled,”I Want What I Want” from just after my last breakup. Here is an excerpt from

it:

“…A few times I was excited because I thought I may have found the one; someone who truly loves me and understands me and is worthy of all the love I have to give, but for various reasons, it has never yet worked out. One day as I tried to understand how two people who love each other can have such a hard time being together, a friend reminded me that I am not a hard person to love, so love is not hard for me to find. The issue is in finding the love that I need, and not every man can fill that requirement.

I have been married before so I recognize that love and friendship is not enough to sustain a relationship. Many important topics have to be discussed and agreed upon before taking a relationship to the next level. Knowing this, I will not continue a relationship where it is apparent that the things I need from the relationship will not be present due to the differences between my partner and me.

I learned the importance of comparing my priorities to that of the one who professes his love. I recognize that the man I am with must understand and be sensitive to those priorities, as I must understand his. If our priorities are not in sync, problems will arise. I also recognize my need for stimulation. I need a person who can engage me mentally and spiritually. Otherwise, I will not feel that I can fully express myself with my partner and our growth as a couple will be severely limited. In a serious relationship I also need someone who sees us as a partnership and will work with me to solve problems and create the best possible environment for our potential family.

The man for me will embrace my child as his own and vice-versa. The man for me will be as sensitive to my needs as I am to his. We will share in each other’s problems as well as our successes. We will use our resources to help and support each other in any way possible, with it never being a one-way street of one person depending on the other. I have alot to offer and share with the one I love, so I expect the same in return.

I recognize that there are quite a few good men out there, including some that I have dated, but that does not mean they are all compatible with me. All I can do is continue to improve myself and what I bring to the table while keeping the faith that one day the love I seek will arrive.”

What I see in my words from back then is a bruised and weary woman who was trying to reclaim her strength and dictate how her next relationship was going to unfold. What I did not realize then is that my search for love was incorrectly stopping at man. I should have never been trying to find true love for myself in a man. I should have had my needs for love fulfilled in God.

Once I turned to God and truly tasted His Love, it became the most satisfying thing I had ever experienced. I no longer felt like I needed a man to give me love or companionship. My Source of Love is the Almighty God, my Everlasting Father.

I learned that love has nothing to do with whether someone else loves you back. To truly love, it must be done selflessly. It was a hard lesson to learn, but God is the Master Teacher. He taught me to love when there seemed to be nothing in it for me. He taught me how to pray for someone who was too broken to pray for me. In that, He taught me humility because I could not be so self-centered when my job was to minister to someone else.

He also taught me how to wait. I had wasted so much time and energy in fruitless relationships and I did not want to do that again. So I waited on God. I served Him with my talents and enjoyed the way He was developing me.

The Plural Thing taught me how to truly be alone and wait for God to send my soulmate. I did not spend time with any man for several months, even on a friendship level. That removed my dependency on the feeling of having male companionship. I had always enjoyed spending time alone with myself but now I cherished those moments even more. I shared so much intimate time with the Father. He healed so many wounds and ministered to me the way only He could.

It got to the point where I was perfectly content and did not care about being in the company of a man. I felt strong, radiant and beautiful and there was no random man hanging around me taking away from that feeling, as there had been in the past. There was only my loving, Heavenly Father, caressing me and molding me with His Love.

Still, there were men in my life who seemed like they *could* be the one and I just wanted to know for sure, what the deal was so that it could be laid to rest in my mind. I wanted to know why I saw the things I saw concerning them and what did it all mean. I set aside a time of focused prayer so that I could hear God’s voice more clearly. This is when God put the spotlight on a man who had loved me all along, not just in words but in deeds.

When you wait on God, you realize that He would not bring you through the growth process to hand you something that is ridden with trouble and stress. He was molding me for something beautiful. He was healing my broken places so that I would be able to receive love without fear or shame.

There are no words to describe how it feels to be in relationship with a man who thoroughly loves God and thoroughly loves me. I believe in this love because I can see God in it. I have never experienced a romantic relationship before where I felt and saw the hand of God orchestrating events and situations for us to grow together. I am glad I traded in what I wanted for what God wanted, because His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His ways are higher than my ways!

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts,” Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV)

by Gina Hendrix
http://vesselproject.wordpress.com

Ever come to a portion of Scripture and that puts you in a ‘crisis of belief’ as explained in Henry Blackaby’s “Experiencing God“?  For those of you who have not read “Experiencing God“, a crisis of belief is that moment in which you read something in Scripture that blows away all your preconceived notions and forces you to either accept the Word of God or fall away in disbelief.

I found myself there when I read 1 Corinthians 14:35 which reads

“…it is a shame for a women to speak in church“.

Say what? Does God want me to walk around and not say a word in church? Surely not!  How can this be? Especially since God created women with the tendency to be a bit talkative.

So, now you see my crisis of belief.  Do I believe what the Bible says or do I push that little verse down somewhere so deep I could never find it and dance around the issue if it is ever brought up again.  I just simply could not believe this.

God, who is my BFF, my best Friend, my Liberator, my Savior.  God, who walked with me through some of the most unbearable things in my life (and made me smile through them).  God, the closest Friend I have ever known, wants me to shut up in church? Say it ain’t so!
Well, after I recovered from this irrational thought pattern, I just asked Him, I simply asked Him what was up with I Corinthians 14:35.  And, in His ever comforting way, He showed me what romance I had overlooked.

First, I started in I Corinthians 14:33, just a few verses up where it says “..for God is not the author of confusion.“  Well, there you go. If I am confused, I can’t lay that on God.

That was my first revelation – know where confusion comes from.  If you find yourself confused, do what you were told in grammar school when you smell smoke – stop, drop and roll.

After dropping to my knees, dropping my preconceived notions, and rolling with what God wanted to teach me – I had the AH-HA moment.
Of course, this began (at the insistence of my wonderful husband) at the beginning of section of Scripture (I Corinthians 14:34-37) which reads:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.  And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

What? came the word of God out from you? or came it unto you only?  If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.

Now, here is where God cut loose on me.  You know the Bible is the only book that leaves you clueless without knowing the Author.  At the end of the several days of questions, here is what I know.

It’s not about telling women to shut up in church. It’s about allowing your husband the dignity to answer your question first (at home no less). What woman doesn’t want engaging conversation with her husband?

A husband is faced with two options, find the answer or ask someone he looks up to teach him so he can teach you.  This makes your husband your hero. Husbands want to be heroes, and wives long for their husband to be their hero.

Give your husband a shot at your questions first.  This is what I know about these verses.  God is big on dignity and He put it in a woman’s heart to talk about His Truths, but she is to start with her husband – giving him first shot at teaching/discussing Truths with her.

Did you notice the last few verses there – “…If any man think himself to be… spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord.” This is a warning to the know-it-all husband.  If you are going to attempt to teach your wife and be her hero, you had better ‘acknowledge’ or make sure what your saying is from the Lord.

And finally, God gives the out.  He states earlier to ‘first’ ask her husband at home (providing long hours of sweet discussion of God’s word with the hero of your heart).

God wraps up the whole issue with the few words in verse 38..”But if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.” A wife meets the direction given to her to here by ‘first’ asking her husband but notice it does not say she cannot ask another.

I have the idea that if a wife, married to believer or an unbeliever, first asks her husband the questions that arise in her heart about Scripture enough times, her husband will rise to the occasion and begin to seek out the answers in order to be the ‘knight in shining armor’  to his wife.

At our house, Matt and I ‘talk God’ quite a bit.  I must say that after long discussions about the deep Truths of God, I really don’t feel a need to ask questions in church.  Could that be what God means by ‘a shame for a women to speak in church’ – that if a woman is asking all these questions, it is a shame to her husband because he is not answering her questions at home?

by Dr. Taffy Wagner
http://www.moneytalkmatters.com

Have you ever felt like your marriage relationship was different than those of your friends, coworkers and family? You listen to friends complain about their spouse’s spending or the spouse calling and “ragging” on them about money they do not share and overall not appreciating them.

Colossians 2:8 (American KJ Version) states, “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.” God ordained marriage between a man and a woman. It is sacred. Yet, if you watch television, read a lot of magazines they are attempting to tear down the institution and image of marriage.

You have examples of several politicians that have been caught committing infidelity and it coming out publicly. Then the wife has to deal with it almost publicly because that is how she found out. The media turns their attention to her as well and she gets bombarded with questions. If there are kids involved that also becomes a point of focus. Based on these examples, the question has been posed, “Is Marriage a Mistake”?

If you are reading this and consider yourself to be “of the world” then maybe marriage is a mistake? However, when you are a believer (Christian), you are aware that you are in the world and not of the world. That in itself says that your marriage is different and does not follow the norms of marriage in the world.

Norms for marriage in the world are as follows: husbands and wives get married, they do not talk about money and marriage, they have children as a way to save a relationship that already has problems not being discussed, they also fuss to their colleagues about their spouses and their work performance begins to decline.

Believers’ marriages are to be a true example of love. Loving the person unconditionally because it a choice and not based on emotion. The husband and wife are discussing money issues as a means to resolve challenges together and make better decisions for the life of the marriage. Believers’ marriages show the husband and wife not taking each other for granted, yet encouraging each other in their individual endeavors as well as mutual goals.

The word says husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Before any husband or wife decides they want to put their marriage asunder, ask yourself what God has to say about your marriage and the issues you are dealing with? Remember, our Marriage is In the World but not OF the World.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God,” Romans 12: 2 (NKJV)